Goodbye.....

Hi. It's Belth. Yes, the guy that brought you Nikon and other things you might or might not have thought were cool. This is my official goodbye letter, and I really hope that you read all of it, it's quite long, and then maybe some of you will realize why I am leaving, and why I'm including some of the things I'm going to include. Before I start to explain however, I will say that if you are young, and are thinking of leaving AOL, don't. By young, I mean under twenty. You are young to me, but even though you are young, you are in absolutely no way stupid. You are probably smarter than most adults when it comes to things like computers and AOL and the Internet. Millions of people under the age of 18 have their own Web pages up, and most of them look better than the ones that are designed for the big shots, like Hollywood Records and Magnavox. (Smart, but not very smart.) Fourteen year old kids write programs in C++, and their parents don't even know how to use At Ease or Windows. Kids with a computer and a drawing program could make better graphics than anyone could even dream of by hand or over thirty. What I'm trying to say is that you may be doing something that is considered illegal, but what adults and others fail to realize is that it is something that you are good at. Something you can relate to. And by calling it wrong, and shooting it down, they are trying to squelch any amount of self-esteem that you have in you for what it is.
This is the main reason I am leaving. I lied about my age, I am really 28. I'm getting to be thirty soon, and I'm becoming one of those adults that I mentioned above. When I go into the undermac room, I make fun of people who like to do things I don't. After all of this time, I've finally realized that I, too, am squelching. I, too, am trying to stop you all from doing what you like. And that isn't right. Therefore, I am going to leave. If you try to tell me, "Belth, we don't mind..." I will not listen, because that is not the only reason I am leaving.
As I said, I am 28. Sorry, for everyone that I lied to, but a 28 year-old ErEEt HaXoR d00d just isn't good. Yes, you are all my friends, but if it weren't for AOL, I would never even have thought of saying hello to you, unless you were at a concert. I'm an adult, and I have other things to do, like mortgage payments and all of that other useless stuff. I have my band, we're getting famous, I don't want to just leave unexpectedly on you.
Ever since I can remember, I was picked on. I am epileptic, and when I was little, I had seizures in school all of the time. People always pick on things that are different. Epilepsy is different, just like being gay is. You are afraid of what you don't understand. Seizures are a very hard thing to understand, even I don't get the point of them. Because of me being an outcast, AOL was perfect, where I could meet people who wouldn't find out I was epileptic. This was when it first came out for Mac, around 1986 or 87. AOL became the center of my attention for a while. My 2400 on my MoNeYgripp type Mac seemed like heaven. Then I noticed that I could get free software without buying it in stores. Not having a job, this is something great. Upgrade your compuer for free! What else could you want? In 1989, tho, I also started my second band. Which is the band I am in today. My first, we made one album, but that is of no importance. Being a low-budget garage band out of New York, you don't expect to get far, especially on an unknown Connecticut/California label." I didn't figure I would meet someone who was perfect for me. I didn't figure that people would really get into my music, and understand. I mean, "Never picked for schoolyard games/I was the child pariah you laughed at/While my eyes betrayed the fact that I was sad" isn't exactly something I thought other people could relate to. Now I've got people in the undermac rooms that know who my band is. LCoburn's brother. Some girl I talked to once. Hornet. The list goes on. I don't like that, for some reason. But this isn't the last reason.
I mentioned above that I never figured I would meet someone perfect for me, my spiritmate. Someone who didn't hate me because of appearance, or my seizures. Alison, she is my life besides this AOL thing and my band. She is the spiritmate that I twist through the mist to kiss in one of my songs. I also lied about us being married a while ago. We've been married for seven years almost. And because of my love for her, I wouldn't have her hurt by the chance that I get traced and arrested. But I have failed her. As I told Raj, you people don't have to worry about having something that you truly love and will love forever, even after death, taken from you. Last night, being the fourth of August, Alison passed away, and now I have no one. You cannot console me, you cannot help me, so don't even try. It is hard enough having to deal with fans writing and asking if I'll be okay, and if I'll be able to make another record. I don't care about the band right now. All I care about is saying goodbye to you guys, maybe in saying bye to all of you, I am saying goodbye to Alison as well? Both were the same concept, both never hated me for who I am. Both never tried to stop me from doing what I like to do. And frankly, I don't want my cake, let alone eat it. So that's it.
Those three reasons plus many other minor things I cannot stand anymore (which I WILL list). The minor things are like people TOSing a fellow macwarezer, insulting a fellow macwarezer, insulting any kind of person different from them, and zillions of things that my fellow macwarezers do. It just makes me more upset when I try to comprehend why you people must do that. Therefore, I hope you have actually understood this goodbye. This is not just me leaving, this is something else, that is very big, that is going very wrong.
Well, this is the end. I will now list the people whom I love (no, only love like friends) online.

Raj - You probably have the most friendly attitude online. Never have I seen you cuss at anyone, and I like your graphics. Have fun.
MoNeY - I wish I was a teenager, because you'd probably be one of the best friends anyone could have. Continue making KLePTo and stay with Vicky.
BoA - You got me started with the whole group thing. I have to thank you for many a laugh and SPiRaL and most of the people I am thanking. Never submit to LeeT, you're the best, man.
BeanTown - You're a great guy. Thanks for a lot of the greeter phrases, I owe you a shitload. Continue being a Taco Bell Burrito.
LCoburn - I only really met you in the past month, but you're a very good guy, and your brother needs to grow up and realize we're a lot better than Whiplash (the one that had no singer).
JeT - I know you're probably upset about Alison, so I will just say later, man. Keep up the good work on OneClick scripting, you're good at it.
Slurpee - You're a very good scripter, keep up that work, and make sure that no one steals your scripts. You're a cool guy, have fun.
Smurf - Sorry I couldn't compile that tool for you, I guess you'll have to have someone good at C++ do it for you. Good luck on Smurf's Inferno.
Trauma - Not once did I ask you for the OH or whatever you were supposed to get me. Have a great time, and keep on uploading.
Wolf - I don't know you too well, but you still are a great dude, and you and Trauma have a good hell going there. Later.
Hornetic - You may have doubted me, but you're still a cool guy, try and get an album besides the one you couldn't afford. It's a lot better.
Wte - Man, I owe you a lot of thanks. You're a nice guy, polite, you took the time to make a great hell that inspired me to make Nikon better.  Don't worry about script-stealers, like you said, nothing is the same as the original.
Ammo - Sorry for accusing you of stealing Nikon's stuff. It's only a frigging OneClick hell, not like those IBM things. You're a cool guy, stay friends with Hornet.
Exo - You were really nice to me, so you get mad props. Help keep SPiRaL alive and healthy, and live a good life, don't give up on anything.
Maxx - You are the man. Yeah, you called me a freak, but I don't care. You took the time to be a friend and a nice guy. Best of luck.
PreZ - I had a hatred for you for a while, but you are still a harmless little dude, and I'm sorry I was such an asshole.
"Virtual - Kid, I don't know where you ran to, but you gotta come back. You're a fun little dude, not to mention creative. Never lose the quotation mark.
Heckley - It sucks you got caught. You came back tho, and that's a good thing, because you didn't let yourself get squelched.
WARiOr - I owe you a lot, like Wte. You are a really good programmer, never lose that talent, and always keep the sunny disposition.
Romeo - You disappeared just like "Virtual. But anyway, thanks for being nice to me, you're a fun guy to be around. Always be a "Roh-oh-me-oh." =)
JeLLo - Man dat JiGGLeS. What's up? Say hi to XTC for me. You're a funny guy, so don't grow up. Or else I'll hunt you down. See you some other time, man.
Waith - Those Lunar apps rule, man. You're a cool guy, don't let anyone say anything different, especially AL. Just kill him in WarCraft 2.
JSeen - Thanks for inspiring me to make a Mail Deleter in Nikon. I still want whatever the hell that program of yours is.
Becca - Fifteen is just too young for me to imagine. I really didn't know you too well, but you seem on the intelligent side. Always remember that, kid.
Dawgg - Sorry I couldn't tell you in the chat room, I was still pissed about how that Hitler dude insulted Alison. You're a great friend, don't quit being so happy.

Well, if I forgot even the littlest person that has made me happy in some way (I know I had to), I really, truly am sorry. I'm tired, and I've suffered, and I must go.

Goodbye, I love you all,

Belthazar